Two of the quotes on the whiteboard right now are “i kissed my penny and i threw it in”1 and “sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment..”2
It could be their juxtaposition that told me, but I feel they are saying the same thing.
Sidenote: we (as a species) have been throwing coins into fountains and bodies of water for a long time. A quick internet search revealed that we do this as offerings to the gods of those bodies of water, water purification (metal apparently has water anti microbial/ bacterial properties), and in recognition of water as a powerful, liminal space and force.3
Both quotes are about making a trade, a transaction in an older sense (an agreement, accomplishment….to set in motion beyond).4 Both are about relinquishing the familiar or predictable (the value of your coin, your certainty). They say put it in someone else’s (Life Itself’s?) hands. They say you have no idea what you’ll get in return and imply that that is preferable.
i saw Problemista this week (highly recommend!), and one of the central themes is letting yourself go for the things you want even if people think you’re crazy, even and especially if it costs you something, even if you have to navigate hostility, tepidness, and chaos from people and institutions. It was not in a pull yourself up by your bootstraps kind of way it was in a can you believe how absurd it is here why not ruthlessly pursue what you love kind of way.
i needed to see it as someone who wrestles with whether comedy and writing are selfish, useless, and negligent of The World’s Problems. i.e. the people in my head who whisper, sometimes yell, sometimes hiss How Dare You? How Could You When It’s All Falling Apart?
i am learning to get along with those people. Today I think do it (whatever it is, your silly to you but not silly at all aspiration) even if and because it is falling apart. i am also falling apart and thank whoever-we-gave-our-pennies-and-cleverness-to for that.
Evergreen by Yebba (this rendition gave me chills!)
Jalal Ud-din Rumi - the second part is ‘Cleverness is mere opinion, bewilderment is intuition.’ !
mid-15c., from Late Latin transactionem "an agreement, accomplishment," noun of action from past-participle stem of transigere "stab through; accomplish, perform, drive or carry through, come to a settlement," from trans "across, beyond; through" (see trans-) + agere "to set in motion, drive, drive forward," hence "to do, perform" (from PIE root *ag- "to drive, draw out or forth, move"). Meaning "a piece of business" is attested from 1640s.
RIGHT ON AND WRITE ON!
I love making quilts… sometimes I think, “who really needs another blanket for their baby, or their laps while watching TV?”
Gifts bring joy to the giver and quite often to the receiver too. 💞